- Sophie's mum: Come back soon
- Jez: Yeah, right. So your husband can kill me and your son can worship my stuffed corpse and you can wheel me out for a fuck. No thankyou.
- Jez: What are you making?
- Sophie's mum: Just some Blair resignation jam
"If I don’t think about it, there’s always a chance it didn’t happen."
"Oh come on, she was my mum’s aunt. I only met her about twice. It’s not like she was Ian Curtis; she was never going to make a seminal album. She couldn’t even make very good Christmas cake."
"She must have run off (except she definitely hasn’t because I’m carrying her around in this bag)"
"Oh yeah. Pissed and stoned in a gas-guzzler; this is the life. Already given a quid to Greenpeace this year so I’m golden."
"Maybe he’s on acid or watched a whole Jeremy Kyle."
— Mark Corrigan
"Not the dog! Not the dog! Shit, the dog."
"Oh God, I think I love her. I think I’m falling in love. Or getting a bone-on, which is basically the same thing when you get rid of all the Valentine’s cards and bullshit."
"Crunchy Nut Cornflakes are just Frosties for wankers."