"Brown for first course, white for pudding. Brown’s savoury, white’s the treat. Of course I’m the one who’s laughing because I actually love brown toast."
— Mark Corrigan
"So what if I don’t really love her. Charles didn’t really love Diana and they were alright. Sort of."
— Mark Corrigan
"If she’s the one she’s hiding it brilliantly."
— Mark Corrigan
"I would literally stab a baby to do it."
— Mark Corrigan
"Maybe they’re Johnson and Sophie wearing masks, and this is all being paid for by MTV and the Playboy channel!"
— Mark Corrigan
"I do sort of like it when he’s rude to me. Hopefully that’s more a psychological defect than a weird sexual thing."
— Mark Corrigan
"Look at me, friends with a big black businessman like it’s the most natural thing in the world!"
— Mark Corrigan
"I’m having an orgasm against my will! Oh God, she’s stolen sex off me!"
— Mark Corrigan
"Maybe he’s on acid or watched a whole Jeremy Kyle."
— Mark Corrigan
- Johnson: If we succeed, I'm going to be Charles and you'll be my Camilla.
- Mark Corrigan: [voiceover] I'm going to be Johnson's Queen! If the public will accept me, I'm going to be Johnson's Queen!
